Hurt

Here is another song, which fits today. 

I want a kiss, right now, where it hurts.

..Except that's my heart. 

"I hurt myself today

To see if I still felt

I focus on the pain

The only thing that real

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way "

make. it. stop. 

what i'm going to say to him.

"Your a really nice guy; Probably one of the nicest I have ever met. Your cute, and sweet, and extrmeley intelligant and driven. But I'm some of those things too. I'm nice, and pretty, and sweet, driven and smart, I'm clean, clever and I bake well..but you don't see that. I'm not sure if you choose to not see that for whatever reason, or if you just don't. Maybe you still see Jen, and she holds your entire vision and that's why you can't see me. I don't really know, and I'm done analyzing it. The entire time that I have known you, as short as it might be, I have been doing things to try to make you see me. But you just don't see me; and I have to learn to accept that. You cannot give me what I want, and I can't keep pretending like that is okay with me. I don't want to end whatever this thing I have with you, because honestly I am having a lot of fun with whatever it is we have going on, but I know I need to. I want to still be friends, and you can sure as hell know that I'll be here on Wednesdays to watch lost with you. And maybe, if you ever decide to open your eyes and see me for what I am, which is fabulous, we can go out on a date or spend some time to get to know eachother better. Your a nice boy Andy, we just have crossed paths at the wrong point in life"

my song, broken into peices

here lies my favorite song, that pretty much applies to me in many walks of life. here are the pieces that fit right now...

She loves her mama's lemonade

Hates the sounds that goodbyes make

She prays to one day find someone that needs her

And she would change everything, everything just ask her

Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster 

She just needs someone to take her home

She's giving the boys what they want, tries to act so non-chalant 

Afraid they'll see what she has lost her direction

She never stays the same for long 

Assuming that she will get it wrong

She would change everything for happy ever after

Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster

She just needs soemone to take her home

It hurts tonight. Everything, all at once. 

Where is this invisible train that keeps hitting me? 

dreaming of you

why don't you want me?

i can't sleep alone anymore, i have such bad nightmares...

i got used to having you want me there, and now you dont.

do i reak of perfume that is anti-boy?

because that is what it feels like.

i just want to sleep. cant you just get over whatever is bugging you for long enough for me to get one night of good sleep? 

im not selfish, im really not. 

Actually

I hate this girl for messing with you. 

It's not fair. 

Not everyone is like her. 

I'm worth it. 

Love is worth it. 

You made me believe that I can find love again.

I just wish that meant that you loved me. 

you

I wish I could have had you before she screwed you up.

Love is possible. 

I am pretty spectacular, just let yourself fall for me. 

I will not let you down.

Can you not see that?